Hey, God. It’s me, Maris. If the Proverbs 31 woman had to deal with picky eaters who turned dinner into a three-hour ordeal, would she still be praised at the city gates? I’m just an exasperated mom trying to serve a dinner with two sides to my husband and kids—only to watch chaos unfold. Between my teen falling asleep, synchronized bathroom breaks, and a toddler’s ill-timed stink bomb, I’m wondering: will we eat in heaven? And if so, can it be faster than this?
The Dinner Table Circus: A Nightly Saga
At least five days a week, I pour my heart into prepping, cooking, and serving home-cooked meals. But the scene at my table? It’s less “happy family dinner” and more “survival of the fussiest.” My oldest teen, Zane, often naps after school and drags himself to the table like it’s a Herculean task. Tilly and Shep—my dynamic duo—somehow sync their bathroom breaks the second I yell, “Dinner’s ready!” Meanwhile, little Bear, still mastering potty training, decides to unleash an olfactory assault just as we sit down. Then there’s Rogue, sticking out his tongue with an audible “blech” at my carefully crafted meal. Thank goodness the twins, Vox and Rush, are napping, or I’d lose my last shred of sanity.
I throw my hands up and mutter, “I’m so glad I spend all this time cooking just to sit here and not enjoy it.” My husband, Wolf, and I tag-team the negotiations—pleading, begging, counting bites. By the time most of us are done, Rogue and Shep are still poking at their plates. Bear, our perpetually grazing toddler, is so well-fed throughout the day that we don’t sweat it if he skips dinner. We do, however, nudge him to join us like a civilized human—pants optional, apparently.
Picky Eaters: A Universal Mom Struggle
If you’re a mom reading this, you get it. Picky eaters turn mealtime into a marathon. You chop, sauté, and season with love, only to hear, “I don’t like this” or “Can I have nuggets instead?” It’s exhausting. I’ve Googled “how to get kids to eat dinner faster” more times than I’d like to admit. Spoiler: the internet doesn’t have a magic fix for a kid who’d rather stage a sit-in than eat green beans. But here’s the kicker—millions of parents are in the same boat, searching for “picky eater solutions” or “why does dinner take so long with kids.” You’re not alone, and neither am I.
Your Secret Weapon: The Picky Eater Dinner Survival Cheat Sheet
Want a lifeline for those three-hour dinner battles? I’ve put together a free Picky Eater Dinner Survival Cheat Sheet—a one-page download with my top 5 tricks to cut mealtime chaos and keep your sanity intact. Think sneaky veggie hacks, negotiation phrases that actually work, and a sanity-saving timer tip. Grab it by dropping your email below, and let’s conquer those picky eaters together! [Insert email sign-up form or link here.]
Will We Eat in Heaven? A Mom’s Fantasy
Here’s where my mind wanders: will we eat in heaven? If dinners up there mirror my earthly chaos, I’d rather be made new and not hungry, thank you very much. Imagine—no spilled milk, no “I don’t like this,” no three-hour standoffs over broccoli. Revelation 19:9 talks about the “marriage supper of the Lamb”—a heavenly feast that sounds divine (pun intended). I’m holding out hope it’s a buffet with zero complaints and kids who eat in under 10 minutes. A mom can dream, right?
Encouragement for the Weary Mom (and Myself)
Here’s the truth I’m clinging to: this is just a season. The picky eaters, the endless dinners, the negotiations—it won’t last forever. One day, Zane will scarf down food like a linebacker, Tilly and Shep will outgrow their bathroom choreography, and Rogue might even thank me for a meal. Vox and Rush will wake from naps with appetites, and Bear might even keep his pants on. Scripture reminds us of this in Ecclesiastes 3:1: “To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven.” Even three-hour dinners have an expiration date.
So, to you (and me), exasperated mom: keep cooking, keep loving, keep showing up. The Proverbs 31 woman wasn’t perfect—she was persistent. Her strength wasn’t in flawless kids but in her faithfulness. And if heaven includes a feast, I bet it’s one where everyone eats their veggies—and likes them. In the meantime, grab that free cheat sheet and let’s survive this season together!
